...along with more determination than I've had in a long time....
So Im assuming you read my "Letter To You"...yeah, second time in about a month that my life is changing so drastically...I've given up, I have completely lost faith and hope and perseverance. I am giving in completely to my eating disorder. I just want to waste away.
Nobody will ever truly love me, its just not going to happen, Im never going to have a family, a husband, a job, a house, none of it. Its just not going to happen and I was stupid for believing it would.
Ive just never been liked, I dont know what it is, Im not feeling sorry for myself here, just being honest. Maybe people can see just how fucked up I am so they avoid me? I dont really have any "real" friends, Ive never had a "real" boyfriend and eventually everybody I care about leaves. Either I hurt them or they hurt me.
Im learning to accept that nothing is going to work out, that Im not going to have the things Ive wanted for so long.
Now all I want is to waste away, thats all I want <3